Wednesday, August 29, 2012

2nd appoitment

Yesterday was another exciting appointment. My potential baby oven got to go meet my wonderful doctor at OHSU. We got more questions answered, forms filled out and are continuing down this road. The next order of business is having counseling appts done, then Baby Oven has to be seen by the maternal fetal medicine doctor and have more testing done. After that she will do a quick mock cycle and be put on some estrogen to see how her lining grows. Once that is over we will both be put on birth control and will begin shots while our cycles are being synched! At this point, if all goes well, it's looking like a transfer could take place as soon as the end of November or early December. *Fingers Crossed*

 Next week I will meet with my attorney to get the contract started. Once we get that cleared and handed over to OHSU we will have a better idea of when the transfer will take place. I am so excited! After yesterday's appt it all feels SOOO much more real. I feel so incredibly fortunate to have such an amazing friend that would offer to do this for us. It's going to be a long road but so worth it in the end. (-:

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Our story..

Our story began almost 5 1/2 years ago. We married in May of 2007 with the hopes of having children one day. Both of us were young and healthy, I had just turned 21 and my husband was 26. The only underlying issue was that I did not have a regular cycle. Sometimes I would go months and months without one, other times it would be perfectly timed for a few months in a row. In my teens i always thought it was great..I never was one of those girls complaining each month about being bloated and crampy. Little did I know that would bite me in the butt later on in life. In January of 2008 I had no been feeling the greatest and just assumed I would be starting my cycle soon. I got up the morning of the 14th, went to work still not feeling well and seemed to be getting worse as the days went on. (Keep in mind, these next few days are such a blur) At some point near the middle of the day I remember taking a quick bathroom break because something just wasn't right. Boy was I ever surprised to see what I saw. Bright red, and seemed to be an almost constant stream. Horrified, I left work and headed straight to the ER in Hillsboro. I fully knew this hospital didn't have the best track record but knew I needed to be seen and NOW. I still regret going to that place and hate having to even drive by it when I'm in town. When I arrived at the ER they took my back quite quickly due to the amount of severe pain I was in. Major cramps in the abdomen, clear down my legs almost into my calves. I was alone, loosing a ton of blood, couldn't get a hold of my husband or my mom. I remember them sticking me to get blood a few different times and then...I remember them wheeling in the ultrasound machine. I remember thinking, "are these people idiots, I don't need an ultrasound!" As they started the ultrasound they asked tons of questions, none of which I really remember. At some point a doctor came in and stared at the screen with the ultrasound tech. The look on their faces was blank, no emotion whatsoever. They left and after what seemed like days came back in my little stall and stood there to tell me that this bleeding was caused by the miscarriage I was currently having. WHAT?!? There's no way, I haven't had a cycle in months and months! I'll never forget how unsympathetic this doctor was. He went on to tell me so many things, none of which I was ever able to wrap my head around because I was beyond shocked. Not only was I in shock, I was also loosing a 17 wk 3 day old baby that had been inside me for who knows how long. How could a doctor ever let a woman make any decision right after she's had the shock of her life!? The next thing I knew I was walking out of that ER, pills in hand and was driving to my own home. My paperwork said that I denied any more care and was released to go home and have my miscarriage on my own. WHAT!? After this I have pretty much no recollection of anything other then going home, laying on my back on my bed, calling my husband and finally being able to talk to him. He was surprised beyond belief, I was bawling, he still in shock, etc. The next 3 days I literally remember nothing ..which is probably a good thing. I'm told my parents sat there at our home with us all evening, calls were made, texts were sent. After 3 days, it happened. My baby was born, the most precious, beautiful, innocent little human, 10 perfect toes and 10 perfect fingers. At this point I remember crawling down the stairs and my husband carrying me to the car. Our baby was wrapped in a blanket off our bed and taken with us to the hospital. That's about the only memory I have of my baby. No pictures, clothing, burial, or grave to visit...nothing. Not even an explanation of why this happened! After a few months we decided we wanted on the baby train but i still was not having a normal cycle. I went in for tons of testing all coming back clear except for 1 thing. My thyroid. It was so far off from a normal level that the doctors didn't even know how I had been functioning normal. I also later found out I had pcos. Damn ovaries!! After more testing I was started on provera to induce a cycle and went on to try 5 rounds of clomid. 50mg all the way up to 200mg and then having over stimulated ovaries. Ouch! We had no luck and decided to take a break for a few short months. In the meantime my husband got a job offer in eastern, Washington at the washing state penitentiary. So we packed up and went east. It took a bit to get settled and established with a new doctor but was finally set up with a wonderful doctor. I can't rave about him enough! After a few more round of clomid with him, he decided it was best and went to see and endocrinologist. She didn't tell me anything I didn't already know..yea, I had a thyroid disease, yea, it sucks and is a pain in the butt especially when you're trying to have a child. After seeing her and not learning to much my doc decided it was time to go to a specialist. I have a choice of Portland, Spokane or Boise. Portland area is home, so off to ohsu we went where I soon met Dr.P. Another great, highly intelligent doctor...that was not covered by insurance and was extremely spends. Boo! Time to suck it up. Went through tons of testing with him and he agreed with all the previous diagnosis. After hearing at I wasn't responding to clomid anymore it was time to move on to bigger and better things. Keep in mind we are about 4 1/2 years into trying at this point. Next was femera. Woohoo! Not nearly as horrible of side effects the clomid had AND I responded. I never actually ovulated on my own but eventually went on to use the femera and trigger shot at the same time. Although follies were there, they just were not quite getting big enough. After a while I stopped responding to the femera. What's new! Another failed attempt. At the point it was time for another short break. My body needed it, as did my mind. Vacation was planned and after that we would start up again with the next step. Choosing that next step was the hard part. Before the last break I was told that ivf was my last chance at carrying my own child. Yikes! That news pulled on e ol' heart strings and really made it a dark world for a good while. Here I am, 25 years old, wanting a baby more then anything, being eaten away knowing my husband has the same desire and I can't fulfill that. My world was dark, but I tried so hard to keep bright and positive. I wanted friend and friend have perfectly healthy babies, photographed live births and then newborns. As much as I wanted to be happy for these people, it was a horrible feeling knowing I would never get to leave the hospital with baby. Fast forward a few months, vacation was over and we are back on the baby wagon. Now what?? Adopt, ivf, surrogate? Hmmm!!!! Adoption was our initial thought and so the research began. My husband was a bit more leery of adoption then I was and seemed a bit more picky. This was a worry for me and I knew it lessened our chances of adopting in a timely manner. One morning I woke up and decided..surrogacy! This is what I want..started researching. Wait, a gestational carrier? It can be me and my husband but cooks in the gestational carriers belly. Great idea, I love that thought! Onward with more research and calls began with my doctor. In the mean time I had been having a conversation with another friend who had unexplained infertility for 3 years. She knew what I was going through and we had been at each others side while we were both going through it together. She finally got pregnancy with an adorable little man and later on was able to have another her first month off birth control. As my friend and I were chatting about this new venture, she dropped the bomb and asked if I was asking her to be my GC(gestational carrier). Well, no, I wasn't but she definitely had been in my mind when I was thinking about potential gc's I could use. To this date I have had 5 amazing friends step forward and offer to be our "stork"!!!!! We are so beyond excited and feel beyond blessed to finally have a little positivity in our lives with this process. I went in to ohsu last and began my testing, my potential GC will be going in next week to meet with my doctor and get the ball rolling. As you can tell, it's been a long ride but we are hopeful that there is light at the end of this tunnel. Here's to a possible 2013 baby L!!!! (: