Wednesday, March 27, 2013

10 weeks, ultrasound...and more!!

Double digits! We made it to double digits! I know, I know, to some that might not be a huge milestone but to's a milestone!! It means were one step closer to getting out of the first trimester, one step closer to a safer zone, one step closer to having a healthy living and breathing baby in our arms! 

On Monday we went to meet our new doctor for the first time and got to have an ultrasound done as well. Everything went great! The ultrasound was fabulous! Baby was measuring right on track at 10 weeks 2 days, we could see the little one moving awesome! Heartbeat was 180! We invited Grandma Blackwood to go with us for this ultrasound. She was all sorts of excited to see the little one.

Ahh, I just LOVE staring at these pictures. THAT'S OUR BABY!! 

After the ultrasound we met with the doctor. Dr.Bair. Super nice guy, very personable to all 3 of us, answered any and all questions we had and laughed and joked right along with all of us. I was impressed! To bad the ultrasound tech was less impressive. Oh well!

Before we headed out to the appt we decided to test out the fetal heartbeat doppler that we had purchased. We were able to find the little beat a few times, but it was only for 2-3 seconds at a time. When we got back from the doctor I convinced Holly to give it a quick try again and sure enough! She found it for a good 2-3 minutes. The doppler was bouncing around with its number, obviously not quite picking up all the beats yet but they are there!  It was SOO awesome! I can't tell you how many times I've listened to this wonderful little heart just beating away...

I feel like as we approach the 2nd trimester, my guard that I've had up so very high, is definitely coming down. After this appointment I've had such a crazy urge to just go shopping! On our way home from the appointment I was thinking about much it sucked that there wasn't a darn Babies R Us within 3 hours of us. In my head I was really tempting myself with driving up to Spokane this weekend, just to hit up Babies R Us! Hmmmm...still tempting!!

As we were making out next appointment..4 weeks out..we realized that we are going to be gone on vacation during that week and decided that we would change out road trip back home a bit so that we could be at the appointment on May 2nd. That seems so far away! It also made me realize that with that putting Holly at 15 1/2 weeks at the next appointment, we wouldn't be doing a gender ultrasound until the last week in May. Ugh! That's foreverrrr away! So, I decided to call one of the 3D ultrasound places in Portland to see what they had available for packages because I know I want to do a 3D/4D ultrasound but they don't suggest them until baby is a bit bigger and more human like looking. While talking with the woman she was telling me about gender scans and a light bulb went off! Gender scan! I'm impatient and want to start planning more. So, we will be having a gender scan on the 24th of APRIL!! It's still going to be a liiiiittle early but the tech said there is a good chance we will still be able to tell..and if we cant, then we are welcome to go back about a week later. I can deal with that! So, we will be doing that on our way through town as we head out on our road trip vacation. We are so excited! Not only will it be a great start to vacation but it is also Daddy's birthday! I don't think he could get a better birthday present!! Our fingers are crossed that it all works out and we can actually tell what is it!!!!!

Baby L, this is Mommy telling you that you better not be stubborn like her on the 24th and let us see what you are! OK?! Ok! (-;

Sunday, March 17, 2013


Goodness, I've been meaning to write a blog post ...or 3 ..for the last few weeks and life just kept getting in the way. Finally, here we go!

As I said in my last post, we got to go back to OHSU for another ultrasound at 8 weeks 3 days along.

 There's Baby L with it's newly formed arm and leg buds! I love, love, loooove this pic! Everything with the ultrasound went well and baby is measuring right on track. He or she had a heartbeat of 171bpm! It was a quick appointment but so worth it!

So here are a few pictures of our baby bump progress...

And the latest....
 9 WEEKS! Its hard to believe baby is already 9 weeks along. The last 2 weeks have gone by quickly it seems. I hope the rest continue on just as fast!!!

  Here is a comparison picture from a few days after the first positive pregnancy test and today. I LOVE IT!!!


Holly is still doing well with nausea here and there and said today she feels like she may be getting over the tiredness hump, which is great! We get to go in next Monday the 25th for our first appointment with our new OB. We will be making a quick trip to Portland for that. Can't wait!!  Erik didn't get to go to the last appointment and is reallllly looking forward to seeing baby on this next ultrasound. Baby will be 10 weeks 2 days... It should be a huge difference between this ultrasound and the first ultrasound where we saw the heartbeat.

Keep growing Baby L! Mommy and Daddy are counting down the days until we get to meet you!!

Friday, March 1, 2013


As many of you know we had our ultrasound a few days ago.

Here is what we saw. 

Yep, 1 teeny tiny beating heart! 
At 6 weeks 3 days along Baby L was growing well & had a heartbeat of
124 bpm!

This is all still so surreal for me. I know I keep saying that, but it really is the truth. I feel like its a dream that I haven't yet woken up from. It's just so hard to wrap my head around this after we spent so many years trying, the never ending bad news with the heartbreak that was month after month. I am excited for this experience and I can't wait to hold our baby but at the same time, my guard is still up. I can't let it down yet as I am protecting my heart as much as I can. As another fellow blogger said about her new pregnancy..we are unattched and I think that explains my feelings perfectly. As time continues, I am finding it harder to not be unattached, which isn't a bad thing but that feeling of being worried will always be in my head. It really is something that I don't think anyone can really explain or understand unless you've been through it. 

The ultrasound was so cool and getting to hear the heartbeat was amazing! The doctor at ohsu told us that if we couldn't get into our new OB between 8 & 9 weeks along that we could come back to ohsu for another ultrasound. So, we will get to go back on the 12th (8 weeks 3 days)for another peek at our baby and then the 25th we will get to meet our OB for the first time and hopefully get another look at our growing baby!

I always cringe and attempt to bite my tongue when I hear or read about people that say pregnancy is nothing but hell. I swear I've been seeing this more and more recently and it's DRIVING ME CRAZY!!! I don't think those women ever fully grasp how lucky they really are. I've written about this before and I fully understand that not all women have great pregnancies and by all means they deserve to complain...but every day? It honestly offends me. It offends me because that woman is growing a baby, for some woman it's a baby they don't even want or a baby that they won't take care of the way it deserves to be taken care of. To know that there are sooo many women that would give their everything to be able to experience pregnancy, childbirth and being a mother but won't ever get that frustrating. Sure, I'm on my way to finally being able to experience motherhood. But, I won't get to experience a live pregnancy or live childbirth within my own body. I've gotten to see the other side of it all. The dark side. I got to experience the pain of childbirth but instead, it was heartbreaking and traumatizing and more then words will ever be able to explain. I didn't get to go home with a baby, I don't get the joys of watching my first born take the first steps or say the first words. It changed me and it changed who I am today and I am ok with that, finally. 

There are people out there that seem to think they are infertile because they might have a small thing wrong with their body. They can stress about it and and talk about it like its the end of the world for them yet when they are ready to start trying, pregnancy came easy. It must be nice! Real nice! Then you have women who are trying and have been trying for years but the only answers doctors can give them is that it's unexplained infertility. As much as I hate my infertility, I am thankful I know why I can't carry a baby.

At the end of the day this is my life and these are the cards I've been dealt. I sometimes wonder where Erik and I would be today if it wasn't for this infertility. What would we be doing?

I do know that all of these trials have made me a stronger person. And, I know that when our baby finally gets here we will love that little person with all we've got until the end of time!

Baby Lind, 
right now you are 6 weeks and 6 days along(almost 7 weeks! woohoo!) and growing great in your Aunt Holly's belly. This week you are about the size of a blueberry and are 10,000 times bigger then you were when you first started growing! You're currently making Aunt Holly a very tired lady, especially when she has to chase your crazy cousin around! Every once in a while you make her bit nauseous too! Mommy thinks that's great though because it means your growing big and strong. Keep growing little one!